THE PICAYUNE

(“It’s the truth even if it didn’t happen.”)

27 February 2009

"President Obama gave his first State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Obama focused on the three most critical things he wants Americans to understand: first, that the economy is in a lot of trouble; second, that the road to recovery won't be easy; and third, that it's all President Bush's fault." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Well, Obama's had quite an opening. Been a month in office -- he signed the stimulus bill, he closed Guantanamo Bay, ordered the planning of our withdrawing from Iraq -- it's like he's spraying the country with a giant can of 'Bush Be-Gone.'" --Bill Maher

"But what a task this guy has. He's got, on the one hand, to tell the people the truth. And on the other hand, try to lift our morale. Bill Clinton said today, you know, come on, lift morale, get out there and sell the hope thing. And both sides of the aisle are saying this. We have finally found something Democrats and Republicans agree that the president needs to do: lie." --Bill Maher

Lawmakers were a-Twitter last night during President Obama's address to the Joint Session of Congress. One of the most curious tweet came from Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX). Dana Milbank notes that "at about the time the president spoke of the need to pull the country together," Barton wrote, "Aggie basketball game is about to start on espn2 for those of you that aren’t going to bother watching Pelosi smirk for the next hour." A few minutes later, however, another message went out: "Disregard that last Tweet from a staffer."

***

“George W. Bush is doing pretty well for a retiree. Our former president will hit the lecture circuit next month for a reported $150,000 per speech. It’s $150,000 for the speech and an extra 25 grand if you want to throw shoes at him. $150,000 seems like a lot to pay to hear someone who can’t speak give a speech.” –Jimmy Kimmel

***

“Some of our nation’s largest banks have been described this week as ‘dead men walking.’ The New York Times says they are insolvent, and here’s the thing. Nobody will say the names of the banks, because if you say the names, their stock will tank even worse. But here’s a hint: one of them rhymes with ‘s**tty bank,’ and the other rhymes with ‘skank of America.’” –Bill Maher

American Grandstand – Bank Hearings

Bank CEOs explain why they haven’t complied with conditions Congress never actually attached to the bailout money in the first place. –The Daily Show

***

Education Secretary Arne Duncan has acknowledged the negative impressions surrounding No Child Left Behind and called for giving it “a new name.” This announcement has prompted “scores of educators, policy wonks and assorted rabble-rousers” on the site Eduwonk to come up with some not-so-serious suggestions: the Act to Help Children Read Gooder, Rearranging the Deck Chairs Act, Could We Start Again Please Act, and the Double Back Around to Pick Up the Children We Left Behind Act. –The Progress Report

My favorite suggestion for a title is still, “No Child’s Behind Left.”—tlm

***

Politico has a new interview with Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), asking him, “What is your favorite body part (on yourself) and why?” Kerry says that it’s definitely not his “face,” because it has been compared to “New Hampshire’s ‘Old Man in the Mountain’ (before it fell).” Instead he chooses his “better-than-Rod-Blagojevich hair.” When asked “what types of products do you never go cheap, for the sake of quality,” the husband of Teresa Heinz Kerry replied, “Ketchup.” –The Progress Rport

***

“The whole cast of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ came out to see the Oscars. ‘Slumdog’ won best picture, which everyone seemed to know was going to happen. It was the big favorite going in. They’re saying the only way it could have possibly lost is if it had picked Sarah Palin as a running mate.” –Jimmy Kimmel

***

A man wearing a motorcycle helmet and a leather jacket burst into the Williams Supper Club in Waukesha, Wisc., through the back door and grabbed an employee. "Give me the money or I will shoot you," the man said. The bartender handed over the night's receipts, but chef Erik Minor saw the man, walked up behind him, and "hit him over the head with a big aluminum spoon" -- which broke. He then jumped the intruder, put him in a headlock, and wrestled him to the ground, even though at first, Minor didn't realize the man was a robber. He took action because "I wasn't going to let someone manhandle an employee," he said afterward. Minor and a patron held Joey N. Geraci, 39, until police arrived. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) ...Tip: be nice if you ever send back your steak at the Williams Supper Club. –This Is True

After delivering a lunch tray to an inmate of the Gage County (Neb.) County Jail, the inmate "threw a fit," said Sheriff Millard "Gus" Gustafson, tossing the tray against the wall opposite his cell. A corrections officer went to get something to clean it up, but when she returned, the mess was gone. Jailers determined that the locks on cell doors were worn enough that an inmate could reach through the bars and turn the lock with their fingers enough that the door would pop open. A couple of prisoners had gone out and cleaned up the mess while the jailer was gone, and were back in their cell by the time she got back. "If they had not done that, we would have never known," Gustafson said. "This is a huge security issue," he added. "They have nothing but time to figure this [escape] stuff out." (Beatrice Daily Sun) ...Yet when done cleaning, they went back in and locked the door. –This Is True

"Elk Gets Bar Stool Stuck on Head in Eagle -- Animal in Eagle Not Impaired; Just Looks Goofy" -- Vail (Colo.) Daily headline

***

Turin - February 20, 2009 - A religious studies teacher drove into two pupils who had behaved badly in his classes at a school in northern Italy, causing the teenage schoolboys minor injuries.

The teacher had just arrived at the school car park when he allegedly spotted the two trouble-makers and mowed them down with his car.

Colleagues were unable to explain the actions of the teacher, who they described as "mild-mannered". The boys, who doctors said would make a full recovery in five days, admitted they had played up in class when the teacher had taken them for religious studies the previous year.

"Nothing offensive or serious; just making a bit of a racket and not paying attention," they told the daily local newspapers.

The teacher has been reported for grievous bodily harm and failing to provide assistance.

Professore: "Hey cornuti! 2 Timothy 4:7"

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."

If only those students had paid a bit more attention to Proverbs 11:14:

"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

What's the general dynamic of an Italian teacher and student? The sharing and lack of space defines the relationships between everyone. Italian teachers have no personal space. In fact, they actually have no space at all.

It's no wonder that teachers in Italy feel absolutely no attachment to their students and never succeed in knowing any of their students' names. Class management doesn't exist; because the students are confined to one square space for the entire day, they become the ruthless rulers of their space.

How can a teacher set a tone when he/she is the one entering the students' space each day? (Start the car engine...)

Do you really think that the students will listen to and abide by each rotating teachers' rules and guidelines which change every 50 minutes? (Approach the troublemakers with increasing speed...)

Do you think that teachers can or are willing to develop relationships with their students, get to know them personally, understand their hardships, their learning intelligence, their home life situations? ("Boys, time to develop a relationship with my Fiat!")

In the famous biblical words of the late Pope John Paul II: "Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one must not misuse it."

--Only In Italy

MowbrayPublishing.com P.O. Box 7, Nashua, IA 50658-0007

Thomas L. Mowbray, Editor